1 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,759 My whole life I just wanted to be a rapper 2 00:00:09,199 --> 00:00:12,279 Then I grew'd up and the boy became a rapper 3 00:00:12,359 --> 00:00:15,519 And my older sister made me wear the golden wrapper 4 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:18,679 She said, "Watch out, 'cause you know The hos will trap ya." 5 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,160 Hello there. I'm Dr. Mecklebaum. 6 00:00:20,239 --> 00:00:21,920 -I'm Dave Burd. How are you? -Good. Good to see you. 7 00:00:22,839 --> 00:00:24,879 So, uh... what brings you in today? 8 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,600 So, a few days ago I was shaving, 9 00:00:26,679 --> 00:00:28,879 and I noticed these red bumps on my pubiscus... 10 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,920 -And I just wanted... -Pubiscus? 11 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:32,920 That's probably not the medical term for it. 12 00:00:33,359 --> 00:00:34,759 Uh, like, where your pubic hair would be 13 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:36,399 if you didn't shave it all the way. 14 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:39,039 Oh, copy that. All right. So, well, let's take a look. 15 00:00:39,119 --> 00:00:42,200 Yes, and I know this is gonna sound so absurd, 16 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,840 but before I can just show you my penis, 17 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,039 I do have to kind of explain a few things about it to you. 18 00:00:46,119 --> 00:00:47,119 Okay. 19 00:00:47,200 --> 00:00:50,200 I just have, like, a very bizarre situation down... 20 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,600 okay, when I was born, 21 00:00:52,679 --> 00:00:54,679 I came out of the womb with a tangled urethra, 22 00:00:54,759 --> 00:00:57,320 so immediately they had to go in and do all types of surgery to it. 23 00:00:57,399 --> 00:00:59,399 As a result, there's so much scarring down there. 24 00:00:59,479 --> 00:01:00,759 -Sure. -And then, I mean, 25 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,240 you know how the skin on your testicles 26 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:03,920 is a different type of skin than the skin on your penis? 27 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,480 It's more... chicken-skinned or ribbed. 28 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,200 Yeah? 29 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,519 So my dick skin is actually made of 30 00:01:10,599 --> 00:01:12,120 that exact same style of ribbing. 31 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:13,840 All the way up my shaft... ribs. 32 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,959 So my theory is: when they had to replace 33 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,400 the hacked-off dick skin, 34 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,159 they used my testicle skin to replace it. 35 00:01:19,719 --> 00:01:21,640 Which would mean that my dick 36 00:01:21,719 --> 00:01:23,840 is made of balls. 37 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:27,560 I couldn't be more precious about this information. 38 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,400 My own girlfriend doesn't know anything about this 39 00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,519 because I'm so good at controlling the lighting and... 40 00:01:31,599 --> 00:01:33,000 Well, if-if you're comfortable, 41 00:01:33,079 --> 00:01:34,599 I'm-I'm more than happy to take a look. 42 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:37,519 I had to explain that, 'cause I didn't want you to look at it and be like... 43 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,439 -You know? Yeah. -Yeah. Sure. 44 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,560 Okay. 45 00:01:44,359 --> 00:01:45,519 Yeah. 46 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,079 Those look like razor bumps to me. 47 00:01:49,159 --> 00:01:51,840 Okay. I mean, but can't genital herpes look like razor bumps? 48 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:53,480 Who's to say that it's razor bumps? 49 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:55,120 I'm to say. It's my job. 50 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:57,640 Well, you should know there's a very big disconnect 51 00:01:57,719 --> 00:01:59,400 between the online medical community 52 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,439 and the brick-and-mortar establishments. 53 00:02:01,519 --> 00:02:02,920 You mean... doctors. 54 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,319 While I have you here, real quick, 55 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,239 I know this is a totally different field of medicine. 56 00:02:06,319 --> 00:02:08,680 I have all this acne on my back that came out of nowhere... 57 00:02:08,759 --> 00:02:10,080 -Yeah, not me. -Cystic. 58 00:02:10,159 --> 00:02:11,360 No, it's not me. 59 00:02:11,439 --> 00:02:14,120 I just figured you must know more than, like, the common man. 60 00:02:14,199 --> 00:02:15,840 I could refer you to somebody. 61 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:18,919 -Not my field. -Thank you. 62 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,199 -You're welcome, Dave. -Hey, where do I pay? 63 00:02:20,280 --> 00:02:22,120 - Hi, I'm Dave - I'm Lil Dicky 64 00:02:22,199 --> 00:02:23,520 - Hi, I'm Dave - Who's Dave? 65 00:02:23,599 --> 00:02:24,639 Hi, I'm Dave. 66 00:02:31,199 --> 00:02:32,319 Oh. 67 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,719 Is this the right room? 68 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:36,199 Uh, is this Studio A? 69 00:02:36,280 --> 00:02:37,560 The fuck is that smell, man? 70 00:02:38,319 --> 00:02:40,280 Oh, man, this dude always coming in here 71 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,520 -with this tuna fish shit. -Okay, are we leaving? 72 00:02:42,599 --> 00:02:44,159 I'm gonna be right back. 73 00:02:44,240 --> 00:02:46,639 Why the fuck would you just walk into a session like that? 74 00:02:46,719 --> 00:02:48,400 You said "come anytime," those were your words. 75 00:02:48,479 --> 00:02:49,919 Yeah, come by, kick it in the lounge and, like, 76 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,039 I don't know, meet people, talk to people, make connections. 77 00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,400 Don't come into a fucking studio session 78 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,759 with tuna fish. It smells crazy. 79 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,400 Well, forgive me for not knowing this incredibly specific rule. 80 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,199 -That's... -Is that YG? Oh, my God. 81 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,560 Yep, that's YG. They're coming. 82 00:03:01,639 --> 00:03:03,759 Whup their ass when you see 'em, straight like that. 83 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,000 -Yeah. -What's up? 84 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,000 Studio smell like tuna, man. This shit stank. 85 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,439 Fuck going on? 86 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:10,919 That's a scary group of men. 87 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,240 He had tattoos on the creases of his neck. 88 00:03:12,319 --> 00:03:14,919 I'm so scared. I don't know if I'm supposed to speak 89 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,639 or not speak when I'm spoken to or... 90 00:03:16,719 --> 00:03:18,240 Doesn't sound like a very collaborative setting to me. 91 00:03:18,319 --> 00:03:19,319 Not at all. 92 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,639 Is there any window for you to show them my video? 93 00:03:21,719 --> 00:03:25,120 No. These gang members obviously do not like dick jokes. 94 00:03:25,199 --> 00:03:27,360 Know your audience, my dude. I love you like a sister. 95 00:03:27,439 --> 00:03:28,800 I have to leave. 96 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:30,960 -Text me. -Nope. 97 00:03:41,759 --> 00:03:44,080 My dick sucks, my dick sucks. 98 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:48,039 Hold up. Hold the fuck up. 99 00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:50,280 Ain't you the YouTube rapper with the small dick and all that? 100 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,719 -I've seen that video. -Did you like it? 101 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,680 Yeah, that shit go hard. 102 00:03:53,759 --> 00:03:56,120 You have no idea how happy this makes me. 103 00:03:56,199 --> 00:03:57,479 Like, I live my entire life 104 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,520 trying to impress people of your... pedigree. 105 00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,960 -I'm Dave. -Ha, Dave, you a fool. 106 00:04:03,039 --> 00:04:04,400 I'm Gata, like alligator. 107 00:04:04,479 --> 00:04:06,919 I just rolled this chopstick. You trying to smoke some weed? 108 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,360 Smoke weed? Uh, do I want to smoke wee...? 109 00:04:09,439 --> 00:04:11,080 I don't think... No, no, thank you. 110 00:04:11,159 --> 00:04:12,719 So you a rapper, and you don't blow bud? 111 00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,039 I didn't say that, I smoke. 112 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,319 I treat it like a glass of wine at the end of the day. 113 00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:18,680 If I smoked this early, I'd feel like a total waste of life. 114 00:04:20,279 --> 00:04:22,120 But did you see that YG's here? 115 00:04:22,199 --> 00:04:24,959 Yeah, why you think I'm here? My nigga Bino sell him tree all the time. 116 00:04:25,639 --> 00:04:27,480 How would I go about getting a rapper like YG 117 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:29,079 on one of my songs? Because I feel like, 118 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,240 until I do that, no one's gonna take me seriously. 119 00:04:31,319 --> 00:04:33,040 Everyone's just gonna think I'm a YouTube rapper. 120 00:04:33,120 --> 00:04:35,000 Shit. It's all about the gander. 121 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:36,800 The gander? 122 00:04:36,879 --> 00:04:38,160 The gander, nigga. You got to wiggle, 123 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:41,199 set yourself up, make a play. Right now you're in the studio, 124 00:04:41,279 --> 00:04:42,680 all these rappers in here popping, 125 00:04:42,759 --> 00:04:44,040 and you talking about, "Hi, my name is Dave." 126 00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,959 Like, what the hell? Like, you should be, like, 127 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,800 "What's up? It's Lil Dicky." Like, own that shit, bro. 128 00:04:48,879 --> 00:04:50,600 I do think it's gonna be the biggest name 129 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:51,920 in hip-hop, honestly. Lil Dicky. 130 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,399 Ride your own dick, man. 131 00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:55,839 Can we get some food? YG hungry. 132 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,680 Oh. I don't know why you're asking me. 133 00:04:57,759 --> 00:04:59,000 I don't work here. 134 00:04:59,079 --> 00:05:01,120 I, uh... I'm Lil Dicky. 135 00:05:01,199 --> 00:05:02,600 -Lil Dicky? -Yes. 136 00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:05,160 Can we get some food? YG hungry. 137 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,639 Okay. I respect you, I just think you're going about it all kind of wrong. 138 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,240 Hey, chill. Bro, there's a store right around the corner. 139 00:05:10,319 --> 00:05:11,639 We gonna bend the block real fast 140 00:05:11,720 --> 00:05:12,920 and get whatever you need. 141 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:15,079 Come on, man. He look hot. 142 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,279 I hope these are the right snacks, Gata. 143 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,000 Man, if you don't stop tripping, I'm a real nigga. 144 00:05:18,079 --> 00:05:20,279 If I tell you there's cheese on the moon, bring your crackers, man. 145 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,000 You Gucci. You're gonna go in there, show your face, 146 00:05:22,079 --> 00:05:24,240 apply the gander, wiggle up. 147 00:05:24,319 --> 00:05:26,759 How can this possibly get me closer to a YG verse? 148 00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:28,680 Check this out. I used to be in Miami all the time, 149 00:05:28,759 --> 00:05:30,639 at the Hit Factory. It's a studio. 150 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,759 I'm in there with my boys. We chilling with some dudes 151 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,920 from New Orleans. You know how they dress already, right? 152 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,959 -No. -Big T-shirts, baggy jeans. 153 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,879 We're in a studio session and Wayne walk in, bro. 154 00:05:38,959 --> 00:05:41,000 -I'm in there dripping. -Lil Wayne? 155 00:05:41,079 --> 00:05:43,040 Weezy! What other Wayne you know? 156 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:44,879 -Brady. -I'm in there sauced down. 157 00:05:44,959 --> 00:05:47,279 Skinny jeans, Cali swag, all that... lip ring. 158 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:49,839 And they on my swag, bro. Wayne like, "What you do?" 159 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,040 And I end up getting three songs off the drip alone. 160 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:53,720 You have three songs with Lil Wayne? 161 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,480 Yes, that's what I'm trying to tell you. 162 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:58,360 They're on my laptop. They ain't never came out, but you know how that go. 163 00:05:58,439 --> 00:06:01,160 This is very useful information. If I would've known all this, 164 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:02,959 I would've certainly dressed differently today. 165 00:06:03,040 --> 00:06:05,439 The swag ain't on you, it's in you. 166 00:06:05,519 --> 00:06:07,160 Like, what is that, peach? 167 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,680 They gonna fuck with that, that's hard body. 168 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,759 You got a lot of heart for wearing that color. 169 00:06:10,839 --> 00:06:12,160 Well... great. 170 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,439 Do I just knock or what? What do you think? 171 00:06:13,519 --> 00:06:15,040 Yeah, just knock in on that shit, man. 172 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,319 I feel like they're not ever gonna... 173 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:22,480 Why are you wearing your sunglasses inside? 174 00:06:22,560 --> 00:06:23,879 Bro, you know I got to drip, bro. 175 00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:25,240 We're going to the studio right now. 176 00:06:25,319 --> 00:06:26,560 YG, you're about to get a verse, okay? 177 00:06:26,639 --> 00:06:28,439 -Should I walk in? -Man, go in there, man. 178 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:31,040 Snack time. I... 179 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:32,480 Okay. 180 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,879 You're welcome. 181 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:36,480 I feel like that did nothing for my career. 182 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:38,439 Bro, "snack time"? Did you really just say 183 00:06:38,519 --> 00:06:40,399 that corny-ass shit, bro? What the fuck? 184 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,759 -Give me your phone, man. -My phone? Why? 185 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,839 Listen, if you want to get that verse from YG, bro, 186 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,560 you're gonna have to holler at Nutti, man. 187 00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:49,000 -Who is Nutti? -Nutti. 188 00:06:49,079 --> 00:06:50,680 That's YG manager. I'm the plug, bro. 189 00:06:50,759 --> 00:06:53,480 -I'm putting his number in your phone. -This couldn't be more helpful. 190 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,240 So, what do I do? I text him and say, "Hi, it's Lil Dicky..." 191 00:06:55,319 --> 00:06:57,560 Yeah, he probably gonna want some money for the verse. 192 00:06:57,639 --> 00:06:59,079 Money? Okay. Well, I'll figure that out. 193 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:00,480 You have to bring that bag. 194 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:02,879 I just saved mine, too, bro. We got to get up, man. 195 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:05,519 Let me get you on my Gram, man. If you don't mind. 196 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,279 Yeah. Okay, hold on, let me think for a second. 197 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:08,680 You ready? Uh... 198 00:07:08,759 --> 00:07:10,439 Early morning studio, LD reporting for... 199 00:07:10,519 --> 00:07:12,639 Nigga, this is just a picture, bro. 200 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:19,519 Ugh, there's so much lettuce on this. 201 00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:21,800 No, I told them no lettuce. 202 00:07:21,879 --> 00:07:23,839 Oh, he told me you made him try a grape for the first time. 203 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,360 I did. But he did not like it. 204 00:07:26,439 --> 00:07:28,000 He reported it was "too gushy." 205 00:07:28,079 --> 00:07:30,000 -Who eats those things? -Most people. 206 00:07:30,079 --> 00:07:31,639 Are you gonna grade papers right now? 207 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:32,720 Yeah. 208 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,120 I've told you how much this fully turns me on, right? 209 00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:36,800 -Yeah. -I've expressed that? 210 00:07:36,879 --> 00:07:38,040 -Wow. -Yeah. 211 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,560 You want me to teach you? 212 00:07:39,639 --> 00:07:41,279 -Everything that you know. -You want me to 213 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,399 tell you when to nap on your cot? 214 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:45,560 My dick wants to rip out of its skin 215 00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:47,720 and run laps around the playground. 216 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,079 I don't know... where to go with that. 217 00:07:50,639 --> 00:07:52,639 You can go into Dave's room, where this shit belongs. 218 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:54,120 I'm sorry. 219 00:07:54,199 --> 00:07:56,680 -That's on me, coach. -It's-it's easy. 220 00:07:56,759 --> 00:07:59,560 Yeah. But every now and then I just... I guess... 221 00:07:59,639 --> 00:08:02,800 -I lose my grip on reality. -Dave? Don't. 222 00:08:02,879 --> 00:08:05,000 Really can't even be tamed, stopped... 223 00:08:05,079 --> 00:08:07,279 Don't do it. Don't, I'm serious. Don't! 224 00:08:07,759 --> 00:08:09,199 Okay. You sealed your fate. 225 00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:10,920 I'm gonna finish Handmaid's Tale without you. 226 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,199 -Stop. -Yep, I will. 227 00:08:12,279 --> 00:08:14,240 Girlfriend, what? Get away from me, freak. 228 00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,439 You gross me out. 229 00:08:15,519 --> 00:08:17,120 -That's better. -The assignment 230 00:08:17,199 --> 00:08:19,759 is to draw what you want to be when you grow up, 231 00:08:19,839 --> 00:08:21,800 and nobody drew a day trader. 232 00:08:21,879 --> 00:08:24,000 No? Did any of them draw a kindergarten teacher? 233 00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:25,319 - No. - No. 234 00:08:25,399 --> 00:08:27,720 I bet a lot of them said they wanted to be a musical artist, right? 235 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,879 -A few. -That was my dream growing up. 236 00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:33,960 I think you're right. Some young, bright, wet-behind-the-ears kid 237 00:08:34,039 --> 00:08:36,039 that's like, "I want to be an unemployed Jew 238 00:08:36,120 --> 00:08:37,639 who pretends to be a rapper." 239 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,679 And then you're the inspiration. 240 00:08:39,759 --> 00:08:41,039 Or... 241 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,679 I'm a "once in a generation" artist... 242 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:47,279 ...who just got verified on Twitter about, what, nine days ago? 243 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,240 I'm glad you feel good that a robot told you you're worth it. 244 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:50,639 Actually, I'm gonna go back there and just see 245 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,159 what's going on... tap in... because I feel like 246 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,759 there's people all over trying to get ahold of me, ask me questions. 247 00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:56,679 -Do you want a hit of this? -No. 248 00:08:56,759 --> 00:08:59,720 Last time I got stoned, I talked to our neighbor Gary for an hour about cement. 249 00:08:59,799 --> 00:09:01,519 He calls it see-ment. 250 00:09:01,919 --> 00:09:03,480 -I hate parent-teacher night. -Mm. 251 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,559 Like, Jordan Beyers's parents are riding me 252 00:09:05,639 --> 00:09:09,159 about his reading comprehension, but the kid literally eats sand. 253 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,919 Fistfuls of sand. 254 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,440 Every day of his life. 255 00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:14,120 Holy moly. 256 00:09:14,879 --> 00:09:16,279 What? 257 00:09:19,639 --> 00:09:21,399 Huge turning point moment in my career just occurred. 258 00:09:21,759 --> 00:09:23,600 -What? -I was in the studio 259 00:09:23,679 --> 00:09:24,919 with YG today. 260 00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,159 -YG? -Yes. 261 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,679 Yes, I've heard of them. 262 00:09:27,759 --> 00:09:28,919 It's one guy, it's not a group. 263 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,240 -Okay. Still cool. -Yeah. 264 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,000 What was he like? What did he say? 265 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:33,679 Well, we didn't really... 266 00:09:33,759 --> 00:09:34,840 I mean, when you're in the studio, 267 00:09:34,919 --> 00:09:36,519 you don't really talk that much. You just, like, vibe 268 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:37,879 -and listen to music. -Okay. 269 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,840 But the really cool thing is, his manager just texted me 270 00:09:40,919 --> 00:09:43,279 and said that YG will get on one of my songs. 271 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:44,440 Dave. 272 00:09:44,519 --> 00:09:45,559 I'm very excited. 273 00:09:45,639 --> 00:09:47,279 That's so cool. Wait, what song? 274 00:09:47,639 --> 00:09:49,799 -Uh, what song? -Can I hear it? 275 00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,720 You can hear it when it's done. It's not done. 276 00:09:52,799 --> 00:09:54,679 I know. I don't like having too many cooks in the kitchen... 277 00:09:54,759 --> 00:09:57,320 -But I won't cook. I'm just excited. -Bless your soul. 278 00:09:57,399 --> 00:09:59,360 No, though, 'cause I just, you know... trust the process. 279 00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:00,679 -Dave. -What? 280 00:10:00,759 --> 00:10:02,279 You always do this. 281 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:04,279 Do you realize that I'm dating a rapper 282 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,440 who I've never heard rap out loud? 283 00:10:06,519 --> 00:10:07,679 Oh, my God, will you rap for me? 284 00:10:07,759 --> 00:10:09,840 Will you rap for me right now? Oh, my God, rap for me. 285 00:10:10,519 --> 00:10:13,200 Rap for me. This is a kindergarten beatbox. 286 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,960 Throw down. 287 00:10:15,919 --> 00:10:17,399 Look... 288 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,159 - I don't know. - Please. 289 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,080 -Please. -I'm sorry. I don't know. 290 00:10:21,159 --> 00:10:22,840 No, it's my job. I-I don't ask you to come home 291 00:10:22,919 --> 00:10:24,000 and teach me things. 292 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:26,399 Oh, you just asked me if pork was beef. 293 00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:29,759 There are a lot of people that don't know that distinction. 294 00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:32,879 Okay, can I at least know the name of the song? 295 00:10:33,919 --> 00:10:35,399 "Girth." 296 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:44,399 Hello, my sweetheart. 297 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,960 -Hi, Mama. How are you? -I'm good. 298 00:10:46,039 --> 00:10:48,399 I texted Ally yesterday. She hasn't texted me back. 299 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,519 -Hey, wait until we get into the car. -I was just wondering... 300 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,240 -Don, I'm talking. -I-I know... 301 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:53,799 -But it has to switch over. -I was... 302 00:10:53,879 --> 00:10:55,360 -Can you hear us? -I can hear you. 303 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,039 I think he can hear us now. Can you hear us? 304 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,799 I'm not gonna beat around the bush. 305 00:10:58,879 --> 00:11:00,759 I'm calling because I'm about to access my bar mitzvah money 306 00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,039 and I thought you should know. 307 00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,799 -What? -Oh, my God. What's wrong? 308 00:11:03,879 --> 00:11:05,600 Nothing's wrong. Everything's great. 309 00:11:05,679 --> 00:11:07,360 I'm actually getting, like, a very big rapper 310 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,320 on one of my songs, but to do that, 311 00:11:09,399 --> 00:11:11,879 I have to pay him his fee, which is $10,000 in this case. 312 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,279 $10,000? Are you crazy? 313 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:16,799 David, you haven't made a single dollar off of this and now you want... 314 00:11:16,879 --> 00:11:18,679 How come we never talk about the 15 million views 315 00:11:18,759 --> 00:11:20,120 that I've gotten in three months, Mom? 316 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:21,879 It's a huge accomplishment. We never talk about that. 317 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,279 But why can't you profit off those views? 318 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,279 Isn't there money in the stream these days? 319 00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:27,639 It's called the cloud, Don. 320 00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,600 I can't profit off of it because it's not my beat. 321 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:31,159 It's just a beat I stole online. 322 00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,679 You stole it? Wait a minute, what? 323 00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,600 -Did you steal it? -What did he steal? 324 00:11:35,679 --> 00:11:37,639 He stole his... his beat was stolen. 325 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:39,080 Oh. Oh, my God. 326 00:11:39,159 --> 00:11:41,080 Guys, it's not at all how it sounds. 327 00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:43,000 It couldn't be more commonplace in rap music for people 328 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:44,840 to jump on other people's beats. 329 00:11:44,919 --> 00:11:46,279 You know, David, 330 00:11:46,360 --> 00:11:49,480 who is this rapper that you are paying $10,000 to? 331 00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,200 YG. 332 00:11:51,279 --> 00:11:53,000 YG? I'm gonna look this up. 333 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:54,480 Do you... do you have a pen? 334 00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:57,000 Is it "Why, G?" with a question mark? 335 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,960 Or the-the letters "Y-G"? 336 00:11:59,039 --> 00:12:00,759 Google will answer any question you have. 337 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,039 I have to go. I love you both. 338 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,519 -Is it Korean? Like Wai Chi? -I mean... 339 00:12:04,600 --> 00:12:06,000 Guys, I'm leaving right now. I'm hanging up. 340 00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:08,639 -Okay, but is it Korean? -Is he a Korean rapper? 341 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:11,519 Hello. Um, so I have to wire $10,000 342 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:14,960 to a company called Blood Gang Entertainment LLC. 343 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,159 Attention or whatever: Nutti. 344 00:12:22,039 --> 00:12:23,919 Hold on, wait a minute. Slow down. 345 00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,320 So YG is getting on "Girth"? 346 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:27,919 Yeah. 347 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,559 Just sent him all the money. 348 00:12:29,639 --> 00:12:30,840 -Is that your "Girth" dance? -Totally official. 349 00:12:30,919 --> 00:12:33,440 Yeah, it's my "Girth" dance. We did it. We've done it. 350 00:12:34,039 --> 00:12:35,519 You think that's a good idea? 351 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,039 It's probably the best idea I've ever had. It's a complete no-brainer. 352 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:39,399 Oh, my... 353 00:12:41,279 --> 00:12:42,840 It's my boss. 354 00:12:43,519 --> 00:12:45,879 Dude, the market's been closed for an hour now. 355 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,080 I don't get any time off. 356 00:12:47,159 --> 00:12:48,480 Bring him everywhere, please. 357 00:12:48,559 --> 00:12:50,039 Like, he's a delight to have around. 358 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,480 Honestly, you will like him, he's just high-strung right now 359 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,799 'cause of his work. He's a really good person. 360 00:12:54,879 --> 00:12:56,120 So you think YG, 361 00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:57,679 which stands for "Young Gangster," 362 00:12:57,759 --> 00:13:00,519 is going to get on a song rapping about the girth of his dick? 363 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:02,279 I got a seven, dude. 364 00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:05,080 "Girth" has so many applications. What do you mean? 365 00:13:05,159 --> 00:13:07,759 The girth of his girlfriend's breasts. 366 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,960 The girth of his home... I bet it's a huge home. 367 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,000 No. Well, why can't you just rap about normal things, like, 368 00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:13,840 I don't know, getting head in the club 369 00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:15,360 and, like, having orgies with your friends. 370 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:16,840 Oh, yeah, I'll rap about having orgies. 371 00:13:16,919 --> 00:13:18,919 I'll sound like the biggest loser on planet Earth. 372 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,919 You could always rap about, like, the struggles 373 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000 of a young Jewish man. 374 00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,960 You're gonna make fun of me 'cause I have no struggles? 375 00:13:26,039 --> 00:13:28,639 I literally met you at overnight camp, your father is a dentist. 376 00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,759 And I'm not a rapper. I'm a sound engineer. 377 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,519 You're not gonna trick YG into rapping about the girthness of his dick. 378 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,720 -There's no trick here. -He's a businessman, bro. 379 00:13:35,799 --> 00:13:37,639 He sells shit at Barneys. He's not an idiot. 380 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:39,720 You know, I read the other day that YG is actually vegan. 381 00:13:40,759 --> 00:13:44,480 Which shocked me. I would have expected that guy to be fully carnivorous. 382 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,879 Can you please knock when you walk in here? 383 00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:08,240 Did you tweet this? 384 00:14:08,919 --> 00:14:11,399 "Just got head." Yeah. 385 00:14:11,919 --> 00:14:13,200 Are you fucking kidding me? 386 00:14:13,279 --> 00:14:15,120 -What? -Dave, my mom just called 387 00:14:15,200 --> 00:14:16,960 and asked why you're telling everyone on Twitter 388 00:14:17,039 --> 00:14:19,200 that I gave you head. 389 00:14:19,279 --> 00:14:21,440 Well, I didn't say that Ally Wernick gave me head. 390 00:14:21,519 --> 00:14:24,080 I was very nonspecific. It just said, "Just got head." 391 00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:27,320 Oh, cool. Um, so who's giving you head, then? 392 00:14:28,799 --> 00:14:31,360 Nobody, Al. It's fictitious head. It's a joke. 393 00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:33,080 I'm happy to jump on the phone with your mom 394 00:14:33,159 --> 00:14:34,600 and explain how Twitter works 395 00:14:34,679 --> 00:14:36,320 and how everything that's tweeted isn't a real thing necessarily. 396 00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:37,919 Oh, it's a very real thing 397 00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,759 that my very real principal at my real job can read. 398 00:14:41,279 --> 00:14:42,879 You guys need to stop thinking about this 399 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:45,039 like it's Dave Burd's Twitter. This is Lil Dicky tweeting. 400 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:46,440 They are totally different things. 401 00:14:46,519 --> 00:14:49,159 Okay, then explain to me the difference, just so we're clear. 402 00:14:49,240 --> 00:14:50,759 Dave Burd takes your feelings into account 403 00:14:50,840 --> 00:14:52,120 at every waking moment. 404 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:54,480 Lil Dicky, on the other hand, can never do that. 405 00:14:54,559 --> 00:14:56,840 I'm sorry. I can't worry about what my girlfriend 406 00:14:56,919 --> 00:14:58,720 and her kindergarten class are gonna think 407 00:14:58,799 --> 00:15:00,799 as I rap lyrics about, like, 408 00:15:01,559 --> 00:15:04,159 69-ing a girl on her period. 409 00:15:04,799 --> 00:15:06,399 I mean, that's a terrible example. 410 00:15:06,480 --> 00:15:08,480 But think of me as, like, a corporation. 411 00:15:08,879 --> 00:15:11,240 Like, when Wendy's tweets, for example, 412 00:15:11,320 --> 00:15:13,720 I don't think anybody thinks that it's actually Wendy. 413 00:15:13,799 --> 00:15:16,399 No! Because Wendy is not a real person. 414 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,519 Okay? And-and Wendy's isn't tweeting 415 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,360 that Wendy sucked Dave Thomas's dick. 416 00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:25,320 Wendy is a real person, it's Dave Thomas's daughter. 417 00:15:25,399 --> 00:15:27,559 -You're not gonna want to hear that... -Oh, my God. 418 00:15:27,639 --> 00:15:30,600 I don't want my mom knowing that I give you head. 419 00:15:30,679 --> 00:15:31,960 You can wrap your brain around that. 420 00:15:32,039 --> 00:15:33,519 Your mom knows you give me head. 421 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,000 Everybody's giving everybody head at our age. 422 00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:36,919 -I didn't give you head! -I know, Al! 423 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,759 That's my... you're making my point for me. 424 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:40,759 I don't even know what we're talking about here! 425 00:15:58,639 --> 00:16:01,240 I wired YG's manager $10,000 today. 426 00:16:03,519 --> 00:16:05,279 I didn't tell you that yet. 427 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,679 And as soon as I did that, 428 00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:10,799 he stopped responding to all of my text messages, so... 429 00:16:11,799 --> 00:16:13,960 -$10,000? -Yep. 430 00:16:14,440 --> 00:16:16,600 I have no idea where the money is. I don't even know who this guy is 431 00:16:16,679 --> 00:16:18,679 or even if he's a real person. I've never met him. 432 00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:20,919 You've never met him? 433 00:16:21,279 --> 00:16:24,720 No. All I know about him is that his name is Nutti. 434 00:16:25,120 --> 00:16:26,799 Oh, Dave. 435 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,639 Al, I'm sorry for being an asshole. 436 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,000 I should never have said that. 437 00:16:30,080 --> 00:16:32,039 But I love you so much. You're my moon, you're my rock, 438 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,080 you're my favorite person in the world. 439 00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,960 Tied with my parents. 440 00:16:36,039 --> 00:16:37,600 But I'm a wreck right now. 441 00:16:37,679 --> 00:16:39,279 I've never been more stressed in my life. 442 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,200 Before you came, I was actually crying. 443 00:16:41,279 --> 00:16:43,080 -You were crying? -Yes. 444 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,159 Do you want a belly rub? 445 00:16:48,559 --> 00:16:50,519 Really? Yes. 446 00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,799 Oh, my God. 447 00:16:58,759 --> 00:17:00,200 I'm putting the weight of the world on you. 448 00:17:00,279 --> 00:17:02,159 It's on me. I need to get it off me. 449 00:17:06,799 --> 00:17:08,160 So let me get this straight. 450 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,279 There were absolutely no contracts at all? 451 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:12,640 No, there's no contracts 452 00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,279 at this phase... it's laughable you'd even suggest such a thing. 453 00:17:15,359 --> 00:17:16,839 Stupid guy over here. I just work with people 454 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:18,480 on Wall Street all the time. I don't know about money 455 00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:19,920 or business or any of that kind of stuff. 456 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,640 It's a totally different world. What are you talking about? 457 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:23,359 Did you ever think for a second that perhaps this guy 458 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,039 who introduced you to Nutsi maybe set you up 459 00:17:26,119 --> 00:17:28,119 just to take your money? 460 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,400 Gata? 461 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:31,559 Gata? That's a man's name? 462 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:33,680 I didn't even think about that as a possibility. 463 00:17:33,759 --> 00:17:35,599 Of course you didn't. Your brain is basically pulled pork. 464 00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:37,240 Come on, dude, you got scammed. 465 00:17:37,319 --> 00:17:39,720 If I go and talk to this guy Gata, will you come with me? 466 00:17:39,799 --> 00:17:41,359 No. Why me? 467 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,599 You were just lecturing him about business and money. 468 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:47,400 Mike, you're my best friend. I'm asking you to come, please. 469 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,279 I love you. Take Ally. 470 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:51,720 -Weekends are for me. -No. You're a pussy. I'll go. 471 00:17:51,799 --> 00:17:53,720 Call a Lyft. I don't give a fuck. 472 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:56,400 I'm not gonna bring my girlfriend with me to get the m... 473 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:58,079 it just feels like such a weird thing to do. 474 00:17:58,160 --> 00:18:00,440 -I know that's sexist, probably, but... -It is. 475 00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:02,559 It's even weirder to take me, 'cause then it looks like you went 476 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,599 and got your muscle, and they're just gonna be like... 477 00:18:04,680 --> 00:18:07,359 -You're the muscle? -You're laughing at me? 478 00:18:07,440 --> 00:18:09,400 You have sex with a man with no muscle on his body. 479 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,559 That's bone and tendon. You're a marionette. You know that. 480 00:18:11,640 --> 00:18:13,799 Okay, why do we need to go? You just go. 481 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:17,240 You guys haven't met this guy. 482 00:18:17,319 --> 00:18:19,480 You have no context. Never mind, I'll figure something out. 483 00:18:19,559 --> 00:18:22,480 Dicky. Lil Dicky. Holy shit, man. 484 00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:25,039 -Hi. -Hey. Gosh, can I get a pic? 485 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:26,960 -Yeah, of course. -Definitely. 486 00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:29,480 Sweet. Um, you know, uh, I'm a rapper, too. 487 00:18:29,559 --> 00:18:32,480 -Um, I go by Nuance. -Cool. 488 00:18:32,559 --> 00:18:34,200 Nuance? Send him all your stuff. 489 00:18:34,279 --> 00:18:35,559 You guys could collab or something. 490 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:36,960 Three, two... 491 00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,400 Get a few, just in case. 492 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,119 -I got it. -Very tight. 493 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,400 Um, so, is this your girl? 494 00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:42,960 - Still here. - Yeah. 495 00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:45,039 I just think it's so sick how you tweet after you, like, 496 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:46,920 get head and shit. 497 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:50,480 You're my hero, man. 498 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,880 I think that happens to most couples. 499 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:56,240 Shots at your kickback 500 00:18:56,319 --> 00:18:57,519 Bitch, get back 501 00:18:57,599 --> 00:18:59,480 I said, bro, get back... 502 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,079 Thank you for coming with me. I appreciate it. 503 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:03,799 Yeah, of course. Obviously, you know, 504 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,200 you got to have me around sometimes. 505 00:19:07,519 --> 00:19:09,119 What does that mean? 506 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,920 It-it means that we're in the hood 507 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,960 and you had no other friends to bring... 508 00:19:13,039 --> 00:19:14,680 Wait, this is the hood right now? 509 00:19:14,759 --> 00:19:16,559 There's no line that defines, like, "We're in the hood," 510 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:18,119 or a sign that says, "Welcome to the hood." 511 00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,279 -But, like, we are in the janky. -Right. 512 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,640 Song with YG worked out, right? 513 00:19:23,720 --> 00:19:24,920 Please stop. 514 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,519 -Mr. Nuts took everything from you. -I need... I need you... I... 515 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,799 - His name is Nutti. - Oh... 516 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,440 -"His name is Nutti." -And we're not even going 517 00:19:31,519 --> 00:19:33,359 to Nutti's house, we're going to Gata's house. 518 00:19:33,440 --> 00:19:34,799 Oh! Gata! 519 00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:37,880 "Yeah, Mr. Gator, Mr. Nuts, your 10:00 is here." 520 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:39,480 Shut the fuck up. 521 00:19:42,559 --> 00:19:44,279 Lil Dicky poppin' out in South Central? 522 00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:46,079 -I can't believe this. -Oh, is this South Central? 523 00:19:46,160 --> 00:19:47,200 Like Don't Be a Menace? 524 00:19:47,279 --> 00:19:48,920 Hey, you the engineer that be at the studio, right, bro? 525 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,480 -Yeah, papi, Elz. -Papi? 526 00:19:50,559 --> 00:19:53,279 Save that gay shit for New York, bro. We on the west right now. 527 00:19:53,839 --> 00:19:55,720 I'm messing with you, man. My uncle gay. 528 00:19:55,799 --> 00:19:57,599 And he a cold-ass nigga. Come on in, y'all. 529 00:19:59,039 --> 00:20:01,039 -Hey, we got company. -Hi. Catherine. 530 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:03,279 Moms, we don't just got anybody in the spot right now. 531 00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,960 We got Lil Dicky in here. He one of the best new rappers in the game. 532 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:10,000 -Oh, what's up, Lil Dicky? -Oh, no, I'm a normal person. 533 00:20:10,079 --> 00:20:11,880 That thing right there is Lil Dicky. 534 00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:14,279 I'm the rapper, isn't that funny? I'm Lil Dicky. 535 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,359 But call me Dave. I prefer that. 536 00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:19,880 Oh. Well, why you call yourself Lil Dicky? You got a Lil Dicky? 537 00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:23,000 Soft, it's never even grown at all, since I was a child, but... 538 00:20:23,079 --> 00:20:25,759 No, it's just kind of like a... play on a rap name. 539 00:20:25,839 --> 00:20:27,519 The opposite of what you'd expect. 540 00:20:27,599 --> 00:20:29,640 So, you're a satirical rapper. 541 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:32,440 Jackpot. See? I told you people understand what I'm doing. 542 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:37,279 So, Gata, I have something relatively serious 543 00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:39,720 I need to talk with you about. Remember that guy Nutti 544 00:20:39,799 --> 00:20:41,680 that you set me up with for the YG verse? 545 00:20:41,759 --> 00:20:43,680 So, they said "yes" to doing a song. 546 00:20:43,759 --> 00:20:45,960 I sent him $10,000. 547 00:20:46,039 --> 00:20:47,400 As soon as the money went through, 548 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,880 he completely stopped responding to all my text messages. 549 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,480 And the whole thing feels very... 550 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,119 -Coincidental and... -Wait. Coincidental how? 551 00:20:57,960 --> 00:21:01,920 You know, I have to assume that my money's gone, 552 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,680 and Gata set the whole thing up, so I don't mean to be accusing... 553 00:21:04,759 --> 00:21:06,720 Hold up, bro. Ain't nobody run off with nothing, man. 554 00:21:06,799 --> 00:21:10,200 Nutti changed his number. You got to kill that energy in my house, though. 555 00:21:10,279 --> 00:21:12,599 -Nutti changed his cell phone number? -That's what I just said. 556 00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:14,720 Who would change their number in the middle of a $10,000 wire exchange? 557 00:21:14,799 --> 00:21:16,720 I'm sending you his new line right now. Relax. 558 00:21:16,799 --> 00:21:18,359 Okay, I'm gonna text him right now. 559 00:21:18,759 --> 00:21:20,279 Come on, bro, you got me looking crazy. 560 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,759 No, I wasn't saying that I was certain it was you, by the way. 561 00:21:22,839 --> 00:21:24,720 I was just trying to think about what happened 562 00:21:24,799 --> 00:21:27,319 and replaying everything and thinking about who the suspects 563 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:30,240 -could even be and... -Oh, and you thought of my son. 564 00:21:30,720 --> 00:21:32,519 Gee, I wonder why that is. 565 00:21:32,599 --> 00:21:35,319 Small things to a giant. I ain't even tripping, this shit regular. 566 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,519 People size me up all the time and stereotype me. 567 00:21:37,599 --> 00:21:40,200 Putting me in a box like I'm some thug. Just like you. 568 00:21:40,279 --> 00:21:42,599 You look like a nerd, all corny. But you rap hard, though. 569 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,480 Like, people play they self when they do that shit, man. 570 00:21:44,559 --> 00:21:46,200 How you gonna do me like that? 571 00:21:48,920 --> 00:21:50,720 I hear you. 572 00:21:50,799 --> 00:21:54,079 And... it seems I have made a fool of myself 573 00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:55,640 and I'm very sorry. 574 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:59,000 -You should be. -I know. And I'm... 575 00:21:59,079 --> 00:22:00,279 ...embarrassed. 576 00:22:00,359 --> 00:22:02,480 I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Nutti just responded. 577 00:22:02,559 --> 00:22:03,920 He says if we go right now, we can do the verse. 578 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,680 -YG in the studio right now? -Yeah. 579 00:22:05,759 --> 00:22:07,240 Oh, I got to go with you, bro. We got to get this sorted out. 580 00:22:07,319 --> 00:22:08,640 -Please come. You'll come? -Yeah, I'm going. 581 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,319 What's up? 582 00:22:16,599 --> 00:22:17,960 Hi. 583 00:22:18,039 --> 00:22:19,240 Lil Dicky, remember? 584 00:22:19,319 --> 00:22:21,039 Lil Dicky. What up, bro? 585 00:22:21,839 --> 00:22:24,240 -Oh, whoa, whoa! -Balmain, down. 586 00:22:24,319 --> 00:22:26,160 Try to control your fear. He can smell fear. 587 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:28,680 Control my fear? How do I do that? I reek of fear. 588 00:22:28,759 --> 00:22:30,000 Just chill, man. Relax. 589 00:22:30,079 --> 00:22:31,400 -Balmain. -Ah! 590 00:22:33,240 --> 00:22:35,640 Damn, even the dog Balmain? That's hard. 591 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:38,319 -Yo, what you doing here, bro? -I'm just in here, chilling. 592 00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,599 You know what I'm saying, seeing what's good. What's good, Nutti? 593 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:43,440 -Nah, nah, you got to skate, man. -I'm the one that set this up. 594 00:22:43,519 --> 00:22:45,200 I don't give a fuck, bruh. 595 00:22:45,279 --> 00:22:47,440 Hey, man, it's like... Man, you being extra, too, man. 596 00:22:47,519 --> 00:22:48,960 You burnt out, bro. 597 00:22:49,480 --> 00:22:50,920 Come on, man. 598 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,640 Hate broke niggas. Shit make me nervous. 599 00:22:54,599 --> 00:22:55,640 For sure. 600 00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:56,720 YG, Lil Dicky. 601 00:22:57,519 --> 00:22:59,880 What up, man? Good to meet you. 602 00:23:00,599 --> 00:23:01,920 So... 603 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,880 I don't know what Nutti has told you, 604 00:23:03,960 --> 00:23:05,799 but I've got this one song called "Girth" that I really 605 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,279 think would be a huge... 606 00:23:07,359 --> 00:23:09,640 Hey, D, hey, hey. Turn the bass up, bro. 607 00:23:10,039 --> 00:23:12,400 Beggars with dough, she fuck it up, she know I got knots 608 00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:14,920 The money come, the money go, man, this shit don't stop 609 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,359 White Ferrecci 'cause she with it, she a top-notch broad 610 00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:18,960 Steady lookin' over my shoulder 611 00:23:19,039 --> 00:23:20,519 Man, this shit don't stop 612 00:23:20,599 --> 00:23:22,240 Tryin' to get that money till this shit don't stop 613 00:23:22,799 --> 00:23:25,160 I'm tryin' to pull up foreign, tryin' to pull up drop 614 00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,440 I'm buyin' all designer, tryin' to hit your thot 615 00:23:27,519 --> 00:23:29,720 Ghetto YG, these Glocks, tell 'em hit your block 616 00:23:29,799 --> 00:23:32,279 You see this old watch, you see the diamond clock 617 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:34,720 You see this a drop, you know it cost a lot 618 00:23:34,799 --> 00:23:37,200 She see me, she gonna thot, I see you, we gonna box 619 00:23:37,279 --> 00:23:39,680 Need to let my Eagle drop, need to let my Eagle drop 620 00:23:39,759 --> 00:23:42,160 Yeah, yeah, I don't care, war gear, I declare... 621 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:43,720 Guns! Wow. 622 00:23:43,799 --> 00:23:45,359 Could've used a heads-up about that. 623 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:46,920 Lot of guns over here. 624 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:48,799 Oh. 625 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:50,680 Sorry, I just noticed all the weaponry. 626 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,559 I didn't know if something was afoot, 627 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:56,440 or if the safeties were on, or what. 628 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:58,599 Hey, 'Rell, you know he a rapper? 629 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,400 Thought he was a new intern. 630 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:02,759 No, 'Rell. You've got me all wrong. 631 00:24:02,839 --> 00:24:05,240 I'm actually one of the best rappers alive. 632 00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:07,559 Yeah. And in five years, you're gonna replay 633 00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:10,039 this entire moment and be like, "Wow, not only was he right, 634 00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,599 "but I was so lucky to spend that quality time with him 635 00:24:12,680 --> 00:24:14,200 before he really took off." 636 00:24:14,279 --> 00:24:17,079 That's what every rapper say. The same shit. 637 00:24:17,160 --> 00:24:19,160 Well, every good rapper has to feel that way. 638 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,920 Do you want to pull up the session that I want to work on 639 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,480 with you and see if I'm just like every other... 640 00:24:22,559 --> 00:24:24,480 You be fucking black bitches, Lil Dicky? 641 00:24:24,559 --> 00:24:26,240 You said, "Do I fuck black bitches?" 642 00:24:26,319 --> 00:24:28,559 Do you fuck black bitches, Lil Dicky? 643 00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,599 Well, statistically, I certainly skew white. 644 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:34,000 So, what kind of hos you fuck with, then, Lil Dicky? 645 00:24:34,079 --> 00:24:36,200 What type of hos? Well, you know, I've got a girlfriend. 646 00:24:36,279 --> 00:24:39,000 So, I typically fuck with her. Fuck on her. All that. 647 00:24:39,079 --> 00:24:42,440 Real cute girl. Honestly, the sex is very solid. 648 00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:45,960 Uh, she has recently just switched birth controls, though, 649 00:24:46,039 --> 00:24:48,599 which... her vagina gets dryer faster, which... 650 00:24:48,680 --> 00:24:50,519 -I'm giving way too much information. -Bruh. 651 00:24:51,519 --> 00:24:53,200 Her pussy really dry? 652 00:24:53,279 --> 00:24:55,119 -Sometimes. -Oh, yo. 653 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,599 I will keep my ear to the pussy the next time I'm in that ass, 654 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:02,440 or... pussy, I guess, 'cause I've never done anal. 655 00:25:02,519 --> 00:25:04,240 Don't think I'd like it very much. 656 00:25:04,319 --> 00:25:06,759 Are you guys going to Coachella this year or what? 657 00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:10,039 Hey, man. Hold up, man. I got to get you on my Instagram, bruh. 658 00:25:10,119 --> 00:25:13,039 -Oh, is it a video or a picture? -It's a video, bruh. Spit some shit. 659 00:25:13,119 --> 00:25:15,200 You funny as fuck. Rap to the fans, Lil Dicky. 660 00:25:15,279 --> 00:25:17,720 Oh, I don't know about that, I don't... 661 00:25:17,799 --> 00:25:19,839 Spit some shit, Lil Dicky. Rap! 662 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,079 You know, I'm really, I... 663 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:22,759 wasn't prepared at all for this type of thing. 664 00:25:22,839 --> 00:25:24,640 Don't film yet. Are you filming? I don't, uh... 665 00:25:24,720 --> 00:25:27,000 Man, I thought this dude was a rapper. 666 00:25:27,079 --> 00:25:29,799 Man, yo, Peter Parker's scared to rap. Hey, D. 667 00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:32,039 Fuck it, man. Hey, let's make a beat from scratch. 668 00:25:32,119 --> 00:25:33,599 Fuck this nigga. 669 00:25:38,559 --> 00:25:40,240 Wait. 670 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,160 Allow me to tell y'all what I'm 'bout 671 00:25:44,839 --> 00:25:46,400 Like a dinner, you got reservations 672 00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:48,119 But I'm 'bout to eat up all the doubt 673 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:50,440 Hey, come on, I'm a flower, let me sprout 674 00:25:50,519 --> 00:25:52,119 Lookin' like I'm straight out of Comic-Con 675 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:54,000 Scrawny Don, hungry, Ramadan 676 00:25:54,079 --> 00:25:55,799 My mama wrong, she don't think I got a job 677 00:25:55,880 --> 00:25:58,240 But I'm-a make great cheese like Parmesan, I'm hardly on 678 00:25:58,319 --> 00:25:59,599 But the rent paid 679 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,240 'Cause you know the pussy flow good, I menstruate 680 00:26:01,319 --> 00:26:03,000 If we got off on the wrong foot like Bengay 681 00:26:03,079 --> 00:26:05,200 It's because I'm higher than a bitch, men's pay 682 00:26:05,279 --> 00:26:07,440 Rappers thinkin' that they hot, blow your nose 683 00:26:07,519 --> 00:26:09,599 Motherfuckers, it's not, I ain't never fought a man 684 00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:11,319 In my life, I have only slept with 685 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:13,240 Four different girls, still you could get it, though 686 00:26:13,319 --> 00:26:14,920 Get every crevice, though, come on some chicken 687 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:16,799 Like fresh mozzarella, hella good Ebonics 688 00:26:16,880 --> 00:26:18,839 I think like a comic, my females got bombs 689 00:26:18,920 --> 00:26:20,839 On their body like they were jihadists 690 00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:23,759 And my libido is scary like Magic Johnson near mosquitoes 691 00:26:23,839 --> 00:26:25,759 Mm, I'm tactical, I'm back and forth 692 00:26:25,839 --> 00:26:27,599 From actin' dull to rappin' for you, attractin', lurin' 693 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,480 The faction formin', the track's recorded, it's about 694 00:26:29,559 --> 00:26:31,160 To put me on the racks like a fashion store 695 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,119 I just want a girl let me hit it on a workday 696 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,400 I don't think my dick has grown at all 697 00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,880 Since the first grade, I'm-a get the cake 698 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,279 With my gifts like a birthday 699 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:39,440 Separatin' with my lines like two lanes 700 00:26:39,519 --> 00:26:40,799 I don't want a Grammy, bro, I got two 701 00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,079 And they're fairly old, stay with more bars than a graph 702 00:26:43,160 --> 00:26:44,880 I'm on top of the class, hop in a bath with a bad 703 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,119 Little lady with ass, I'm makin' her laugh, the neck 704 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:49,119 Like a baby giraffe, shakin' it fast, makin' it last 705 00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:50,880 Haters amass, sayin' I'm bad, it's like an eighth grader 706 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:52,480 Trainin' the class, it's crazy and blasphemous 707 00:26:52,559 --> 00:26:54,200 I'm 'bout to break 'em in half, I'm makin' my path 708 00:26:54,279 --> 00:26:56,240 I'm waitin' on my break like a cast, somebody get a boy 709 00:26:56,319 --> 00:26:58,240 A gig, he got drive and flash. 710 00:26:58,319 --> 00:26:59,880 Like a flash drive. 711 00:27:03,559 --> 00:27:05,640 -He kind of tight. Yeah. -Damn. 712 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,480 Hey, Lil Dicky bitch, if you listening, 713 00:27:07,559 --> 00:27:09,799 hit him with that slickness tonight! 714 00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:12,200 -Oh-oh-oh. Uh... -None of that dry shit. 715 00:27:12,279 --> 00:27:15,079 Don't take that birth control till tomorrow, baby. 716 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,880 Did you post that already? Please don't post that. Did you post it? 717 00:27:18,279 --> 00:27:19,680 Yeah. 718 00:27:19,759 --> 00:27:21,200 -Oh. -Hey, I'm tired, bro. 719 00:27:21,279 --> 00:27:22,680 I'm going. Let's go. 720 00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,000 Wait, where are you guys going? 721 00:27:25,079 --> 00:27:26,640 Oh, we got a quick Europe run. 722 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:28,039 We'll be back in a few weeks. 723 00:27:28,119 --> 00:27:30,039 A few weeks? What do you mean? What about the verse? 724 00:27:30,519 --> 00:27:31,839 Oh. Oh, nah, nah. 725 00:27:31,920 --> 00:27:33,440 We'll take care of that when I get back. 726 00:27:33,519 --> 00:27:35,559 -I would love to settle up right now. -Yo, yo, yo. 727 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,279 Why you pressin' me, bro? 728 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:39,160 I don't like that shit. Twin. 729 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:40,359 Wait. 730 00:27:40,440 --> 00:27:42,240 Wait a minute. Just... slow down. I don't... 731 00:27:42,319 --> 00:27:44,160 Are you gonna change your number between now and then? 732 00:27:44,480 --> 00:27:46,079 I said I got you. 733 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,680 Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold the phone. Hold on. 734 00:27:54,599 --> 00:27:55,920 Yo, yo. 735 00:27:56,759 --> 00:27:58,319 Hey, man, uh, so, I paid 736 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:01,200 you guys my life savings to get on one of my songs, 737 00:28:01,279 --> 00:28:03,160 and we were supposed to work on it tonight, 738 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:04,680 and that did not happen. 739 00:28:04,759 --> 00:28:06,119 Damn, bro. 740 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:07,960 My bad. 741 00:28:08,039 --> 00:28:09,640 -You know, I don't... -Bro, don't trip. 742 00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:11,480 When I get back, we gonna do something crazy. 743 00:28:11,559 --> 00:28:13,240 -A'ight? -You promise? 744 00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:15,279 I got you. 745 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:16,519 We good? 746 00:28:16,599 --> 00:28:18,240 Yeah, we're good. 747 00:28:34,319 --> 00:28:36,759 Man, YG get a couple hits, go all Hollywood. 748 00:28:36,839 --> 00:28:38,599 Had me out here for an hour, bro. 749 00:28:38,680 --> 00:28:40,119 Did he do the verse or what? 750 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:41,599 No, he didn't do the verse. 751 00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:43,880 He did put me on his Instagram rapping for, like, two minutes. 752 00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:46,599 -He put you on his Instagram rapping? -Yeah, and it's going viral. 753 00:28:46,680 --> 00:28:48,279 - I can't believe that. - Yeah, look. 754 00:28:48,359 --> 00:28:50,279 Dang, that... This is way sicker than a verse. 755 00:28:50,359 --> 00:28:52,440 He basically directed a music video for you, bro. 756 00:28:53,079 --> 00:28:55,160 Gata, I am incredibly high. 757 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:56,759 Would you drive my car? 758 00:28:56,839 --> 00:28:58,559 I got you, bro. Let's wiggle. 759 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,119 Okay. 760 00:29:01,359 --> 00:29:03,119 Hey, be honest with me. 761 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,960 Were you just using me to get into the studio with them? 762 00:29:06,039 --> 00:29:08,240 Man, you know I got to do what I got to do, bro. 763 00:29:08,319 --> 00:29:10,519 I'm a positive opportunist. You know how I gander and wiggle. 764 00:29:10,599 --> 00:29:12,640 We 'posed to be like Kobe and Shaq, bro. I got to get mine. 765 00:29:12,720 --> 00:29:14,480 You 'posed to throw it off the glass, bro. I rap, too. 766 00:29:14,559 --> 00:29:17,119 -Like, what's good? I ain't... -No, I'm not mad. I... 767 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,680 I'm honored to be a part of your gander, as you would put it. 768 00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:20,839 I think it's cool. 769 00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,079 I think we're gonna be telling this story at our 50th birthday parties. 770 00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:25,279 50th birthday party? What's really good with this weekend? 771 00:29:25,359 --> 00:29:26,920 What's the plot, fool? 772 00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:29,359 I'm not doing anything this weekend. 773 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:30,880 I need to rest. 774 00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:33,880 My dick sucks, my dick sucks 775 00:29:34,759 --> 00:29:37,359 My dick sucks, fuck! 776 00:29:38,039 --> 00:29:40,559 My dick sucks, my dick sucks 777 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:43,960 My dick sucks, fuck! 778 00:29:44,039 --> 00:29:45,519 Hey, girl, hey, girl 779 00:29:45,599 --> 00:29:47,240 Hey, girl, what you tryin' to say, girl? 780 00:29:47,319 --> 00:29:48,880 When you see my dick, you may hurl 781 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:50,200 But I'm still kind of hot like May, girl 782 00:29:50,279 --> 00:29:51,839 Whoa, girl, whoa, girl 783 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:53,480 I'm just tryin' to let you know, girl 784 00:29:53,559 --> 00:29:54,960 My dick sucks fo' sho', girl 785 00:29:55,039 --> 00:29:56,440 But I make up for that 786 00:29:56,519 --> 00:29:57,720 Like, even though my dick is shorty 787 00:29:57,799 --> 00:29:59,400 It sit there like it's Gotti 788 00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,920 And it do good work like Gandhi 789 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:02,960 And it might grow more like Brawny, probably not 790 00:30:03,039 --> 00:30:05,680 Got bitches in the lobby, their body language obvi 791 00:30:05,759 --> 00:30:08,680 If five-inches the over-under, I'm underdog like Rocky 792 00:30:08,759 --> 00:30:10,279 They don't care about my cock 793 00:30:10,359 --> 00:30:11,920 I could use a pussy mop 794 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:13,480 In the scene like I'm a prop 795 00:30:13,559 --> 00:30:15,119 She saw me and went in shock 796 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:16,680 Technically I'm unemployed...